my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize