dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
