I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
