How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
