Your dad touched me again.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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