she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
