I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I need a beard to bite.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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