Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
