I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
