Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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