Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
