So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
