i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just found puke in my bra..
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
