Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
