no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
