maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
