She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
