Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
