I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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