Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
