there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
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