i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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