This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
he was CRYING into my vagina
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.