youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..