i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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