She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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