I'm drive I can fine osifer
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
