He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
