I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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