I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
