Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
