Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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