Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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