3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
