this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
