She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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