She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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