You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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