I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize