Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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