The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
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Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
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After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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