Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
