Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
