im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
