Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
