I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
