What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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