Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
