yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
