i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
