I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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