my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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