This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
