Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
