I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize