yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
