Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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