I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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