Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
