DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
