Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
