I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize